Maker of Music and Dreamer of Dreams

I'm alive. I'm 30 today. More updates later. Many updates. Hugs to everyone.

My thoughts on the election. Yes, I'm still alive. Read at your own risk!

( So... )

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... it's my birthday. :)

... who stole it from elf_fu.

"I stumbled upon this post by TeeGee Studio who found the idea from anodyne design.

Now, I'm no great artist. I am neither amazing with the pencils or la-tee-da with the prints. However, the first THREE people to comment to this post with their name and an e-mail to which I can contact them to get their address--will in the sometime near future end up with either a sketch, maybe some cookies or a print of one of the many photos I have taken.

THE CATCH IS/RULES ARE--you MUST do the same in your own journal. You must post this Meme and offer to hand make something for the first three people to comment in your blog. If you don't, you don't get anything, sorry :p."

I don't know what I can offer, but I do bake some mean cookies. Or something. We can work something out!

Get Your Sexy Name

This is for fox_bard.

baldur's gate
I'm going to quote the Wikipedia entry here, since it says it so much better than I could:
"Baldur's Gate is a computer role-playing game in a high fantasy setting, developed by BioWare and released in 1998 by Interplay Entertainment. It is widely regarded as one of the premier single-player titles in the history of the computer role-playing genre.

The story follows the player character as he grows up following the cataclysmic Time of Troubles, and it puts an emphasis on character development through dialogue and battle. The game rewards the player character according to his or her moral choices, in the spirit of the game's opening quotation, credited to Friedrich Nietzsche:

'He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you...' "

I loved this game (and loved the sequel even more), and it's one of the last computer games I truly immersed myself in.

dungeon siege
Another role-playing game. This one wasn't as detailed as Baldur's Gate, but still killed many hours of my time and was good for playing with friends (ahem voodoolimbo). Wikipedia entry:
"The player participates in a quest to save the land of Ehb from the forces of evil. The player controls the main character from humble beginnings as a farmer to a powerful hero or heroine. As the game progresses, the main character may be joined by other adventurers, who the player also controls. The background is based in a fantasy medieval world with a great geographic variety in open and closed environments (dungeons). The graphics are very detailed with intelligent environment changes."

guy gavriel kay
Is my favorite fantasy author, period. He beats out Tolkien, Salvatore and every other hard hitter in the genre simply because of his command over the written word. His trilogy The Fionavar Tapestry is the best series I have ever read. That's right, I said the best series I have Ever. Read. He paints pictures that are brilliant and extremely easy to visualize, and is an absolute master of plot twists. READ THESE BOOKS. NOW.

pipe organs
I learned to play on a pipe organ, and as far as I am concerned there is nothing better in the world than hearing a pipe organ on full blast in an empty church. The experience is the very embodiment of the word "magnificent."

pondering
This is pretty self-explanatory. I ponder lots of things, but these days I find most of them to be negatively based rather than based on the possible (positive) future. Most of my pondering tends to be about 30 seconds after I need to go to sleep. I guess several changes are in order as far as this goes, hmm?

rufus wainwright
Ever heard the soundtrack version of "Hallelujah" from Shrek? That's Rufus. I fell in love with his voice when I heard this particular song, so I went out and downloaded (legally of course) several of his songs and then purchased an album. He's somewhere right between fabulous and pouty, and I love the combination.

vertical horizon
Rock/pop based group that hit it big years ago with their single "Everything You Want." I knew it was going to be huge when I first heard it, so I picked up the album with the same name. I was impressed with the album, so I went out to pick up some more information about the band and found many disgruntled fans saying the group had 'sold out' and completely changed their tone with this album (which turned out to be their third or fourth). A couple of months later a record store down the road from where I lived closed down and put everything on a stupid huge sale, so I bought every album of theirs I could find and listened to them all. Their tone was completely different, and I discovered that their earlier music was much more mellow and spoke very differently. I love, LOVE the lyrics of their songs. They're still one of my favorite bands, even though no one really knows the 'real' VH.

Wow, that felt long winded. I think that's the most I've written in about two years. Heh.

Oh right, I forgot the meme part - comment on this and I'll respond with 7 interests you have listed that I'd like to know more about. :)

ENFJs are the benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity. They have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.

ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.

ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don't resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. Their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their NFP counterparts.

ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.
TRADEMARK: "The first shall be last"

This refers to the open-door policy of ENFJs. One ENFJ colleague always welcomes me into his office regardless of his own circumstances. If another person comes to the door, he allows them to interrupt our conversation with their need. While discussing that need, the phone rings and he stops to answer it. Others drop in with a 'quick question.' I finally get up, go to my office and use the call waiting feature on the telephone. When he hangs up, I have his undivided attention!

Functional Analysis:
Extraverted Feeling

Extraverted Feeling rules the ENFJ's psyche. In the sway of this rational function, these folks are predisposed to closure in matters pertaining to people, and especially on behalf of their beloved. As extraverts, their contacts are wide ranging. Face-to-face relationships are intense, personable and warm, though they may be so infrequently achieved that intimate friendships are rare.

Introverted iNtuition

Like their INFJ cousins, ENFJs are blessed through introverted intuition with clarity of perception in the inner, unconscious world. Dominant Feeling prefers to find the silver lining in even the most beggarly perceptions of those in their expanding circle of friends and, of course, in themselves. In less balanced individuals, such mitigation of the unseemly eventually undermines the ENFJ's integrity and frequently their good name. In healthier individuals, deft use of this awareness of the inner needs and desires of others enables this astute type to win friends, influence people, and avoid compromising entanglements.

The dynamic nature of their intuition moves ENFJs from one project to another with the assurance that the next one will be perfect, or much more nearly so than the last. ENFJs are continually looking for newer and better solutions to benefit their extensive family, staff, or organization.

Extraverted Sensing

Sensing is extraverted. ENFJs can manage details, particularly those necessary to implement the prevailing vision. These data have, however, a magical flexible quality. Something to be bought can be had for a song; the same something is invaluable when it's time to sell. (We are not certain, but we suspect that such is the influence of the primary function.) This wavering of sensory perception is made possible by the weaker and less mature status with which the tertiary is endowed.

Introverted Thinking

Introverted Thinking is least apparent and most enigmatic in this type. In fact, it often appears only when summoned by Feeling. At times only in jest, but in earnest if need be, Thinking entertains as logical only those conclusions which support Feeling's values. Other scenarios can be shown invalid or at best significantly inferior. Such "Thinking in the service of Feeling" has the appearance of logic, but somehow it never quite adds up.

Introverted Thinking is frequently the focus of the spiritual quest of ENFJs. David's lengthiest psalm, 119, pays it homage. "Law," "precept," "commandment," "statute:" these essences of inner thinking are the mysteries of Deity for which this great Feeler's soul searched.

I'll come up with a witty, sarcasm-laced post later on today, but for now let me say another birthday's come and gone and it was a good one. The sun's out for the first time in a week, I'm airing out the house and it's about time to remind myself what my pillow feels like. Woke up too early this morning and plan on remedying that. Now.

zzzzzzzz.

Ambien taken. Waiting for it to kick in so I can get my raggedy ass to bed in preparation for The Day tomorrow. Mostly prepped, but I'll be heading in at six fucking thirty in the morning so I can get a little quiet practice time in before my choir shuffles through the doors. They'll be bleary-eyed and not warmed up in the slightest, so I'll have to do my best cheerleading "rah rah we're awesome go team" impression to get them to produce anything.

Good day today. Spent most of it being a lump in bed, which by any standards should be a Decent Day. Bought Viva Pinata for the Xbox 360 because it was on an excellent sale, and I've heard it compared to Pokemon meets Black and White. Translation: Video Game Crack.

Time to go play some Pogo before bed. I'm hoping between mind-numbing Flash games and the drugs I'll be able to not think about all the crap I have to do tomorrow.

Let me tell you, there's nothing quite like trying to fake your way through pedaling the Hallelujah Chorus when your legs are sore and you can't breathe through both nostrils. I don't know what caliber organist is supposed to be used to accompany and/or direct a choir during that particular piece, but it damn sure is somewhere way above Perfectly Acceptable Organist That Can Mostly Play Stuff On Sundays.

I also didn't realize it was possible to pull both the biceps in your arms by directing something too hard. I had bell choir rehearsal last night, and I was directing, shall we say, violently (think mad scientist waving of arms only more calculated) and realized towards the end of the rehearsal that my arms were starting to hurt. Go to the gym my ass, all I need to do is conduct for Easter twice a week and I would look like fucking Popeye.

Sheets in the dryer. Figured I needed to sleep in something other than my Plague Sheets, seeing that I'm actually (mostly) clean and feeling slightly better.

Did you know that if you combine Ambien and Alka-Seltzer Nighttime Formula that it makes you hallucinate? I've never taken recreational drugs, but I can damn well guarantee it would be just like this. I remember staring at the ceiling and watching the colors swirl around (before I fell asleep for ten hours) and thinking it was like, the best trip ever, maaaaaan.

World of Warcraft time. I've been level 65 for too long.

I just finished reading Julie & Julia, which is one of the best "easy reads" I've had all year and would highly recommend it to anyone. A woman named Julie (heh) who's living in NY, been married for over five years and is a permanent secretary decides to cook her way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child in one year. The book is hilarious and mostly about food, which of course was a huge interest to me. If you get the chance, pick it up. Seriously, it's worth it.

After reading any particularly good book I'm always inspired to do *something*. It's really more romantic than it sounds, seeing that it never leads to anything except the occasional extra load of laundry done or half page of journal written. Today I actually opened the windows to let some sun and fresh air in, seeing that I've caught my annual Easter Plague and still haven't managed to get over it. I initially thought it was just a head cold, but seeing that I'm heading into my fifth day and still feel like Pickled Shit I think it's a little more than that. I busted out the antibiotics yesterday and seem a little closer to human today, and maybe after I actually take a shower and shave if I have the energy (you seriously do NOT want to see my legs omgz forest yuck) I might even be all right when I have to go out tonight and work.

Yeah, it's Holy Week. Those of you that Don't Care what Holy Week is, you might as well go back to YouTube and look up Alanis Morrisette's version of Fergie's "My Humps" (I shit you not, it exists). For the rest of you, Holy Week is the week between Palm Sunday (this past Sunday) and Easter Sunday (which most of you know is this Sunday - even if you don't celebrate it's on pretty much every goddamn calendar out there plus the appearance of seven million shitty stuffed rabbits and crap plastic eggs in every store since the end of February should have clued you in). Palm Sunday has some pretty big music in it, so I had to bust out the bell choir and the children's choir (which consists of six kids that can't sing but I bribe them regularly with candy so they keep coming back) and make it all sound good while hopped up on enough decongestant to clear up the nose on an elephant.
Then comes Holy Thursday, which is the Thursday after Palm Sunday, and traditionally has something to do with the Last Supper. In my church's case, we all get together in the main gathering area, eat some crappy chicken soup and plain bread, sing something miserable and then read paragraphs one by one while putting out candles. It's actually a nice ceremony, but there's only about 30 people who give a shit about it. That's a shame.
Good Friday is next. That's the Actual Day Christ Died, and it's a day Catholics beat themselves with pain sticks, don't eat meat/fast all day, and remind the world it's their day to be Religiously Miserable. The Jews have Yom Kippur, the Catholics have Good Friday.
Holy Saturday is your traditional Filler Day. Okay, not really, but the whole saying is "on the third day he rose again," and Saturday was the actual Sabbath observed back then, so they couldn't do anything with the body except dump it in a cave and plan to come back on Sunday.
Annnnnnd now we have Easter Sunday. The Biggest Liturgical Day of the Year, the day most of this whole religious stuff is built around, the Death and Resurrection and Let's Have a Celebration By Hopping Our Kids Up On Too Much Sugar, Dress Them In Cute Clothes and Haul Them To Church Day. Bring out the trumpets, the ridiculously difficult music no one really cares about and the Twice a Year Churchgoers (who think that by going to church on Christmas and Easter they can still count themselves as Good Christians, and hey, they fill up the donation plate during the offertory so maybe they are). We sing the first Alleluia since Ash Wednesday 40 days ago and generally have as much of a Good Time as Christians allow themselves to in a church.

This is my Christmas of retail, my Back to School of office supply stores, my Biggest Client Wants Twice As Much In Half the Time of corporate jobs. I work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday officially with prep work taking place on Friday and Saturday. Usually my Easter plague comes from the stress of trying to make sure everything is Exactly Right when it really doesn't matter what the hell I produce as long as it sounds good and the people are happy.

They are happy, for the most part - except for the fact that my last Sunday at this particular church is April 15. I've taken a new job in the lower half of the state that involves a 60 minute commute one way (don't ask) but also offers twice the pay AND health and dental, which is a far cry from the pat on the ass I get now. It's a big step for me, not just the drive but the job itself because the church is in a Rich Town and they're asking for the sun, the moon and the stars. I'll eventually be able to give it to them, but I've already made it Quite Clear that it'll be accomplished at my own pace and will take some time to get there. I can work miracles, but only when I'm damn good and ready.

On that note, I think I'll call it a day for this entry.

I have to go to work soon. Four hours of teaching piano lessons.

Richard Jeni died of an apparent suicide a couple days ago. For some reason this is hitting me hard, and I'm not sure why. I enjoyed his routines - so much so that when his 2006 special hit On Demand I think I watched it five or six times. The man was hilarious but apparently very, very unhappy. I suppose speculation will start popping up on the news at some point, but I still don't understand what could've been so very wrong that he felt the need to do such a thing. The man had a gift.

Sigh.

There's a lot else going on right now, but I don't have time to put it all into a post right now. Maybe later tonight if I have the chance.

Still alive, still here, still keepin' on keepin' on.

I am disgusted with my state right now. I really thought Connecticut would have more common sense to get rid of a senator that has grown old, lazy and fat in the senate for the past 18 years and doesn't give a damn about anything any more, least of all how to better his state. When he was first elected in he was a good senator, but he's past his prime and should've fucking stepped down when he got ousted in the primary instead of changing his party so he could still be in the race. He is so full of shit his eyes are brown.

Son of a bitch. I shouldn't be so angry, but I am.

I'm moving to Zimbabwe and changing my name to Mabupu.

Fucking voters.

Pick one word from each pair that you think describes me and leave it in the comments. I am bored, it's 20 to 2 in the morning and I'm curious if any of you remember my personality from back when I used to post.

Heh.

* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* barefoot or shoes
* jeans or slacks
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or jock
* brains or brawns
* common sense or book smarts

I am beyond tired.

In the past five days I've written two papers, passed my Genetics Midterm From Hell­® and recarpeted the entire living room with a nifty little phenomenon called carpet squares. I had a party on Sunday for a few friends and we spent the entire afternoon playing video games and eating Chinese (just like my college days!). Also visited a friend of mine I hadn't seen in about a year and a half yesterday afternoon; he's purging through a lot of his gaming stuff (video games, D&D, Warhammer et al) and relieved him of a few tidbits like a sealed copy of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night with matching hint book. Haven't cracked it open yet, but you can bet I will shortly.

It's a beautiful unseasonably warm day outside, which I'm sure will make the kids come out in droves tonight. I'll have to be careful not to run any over on my way to class.

I have schoolwork I could be doing. Sociology paper(s), literature essays, I'm never going to make it to the end of the semester with the holidays coming and more crap to be done than I have time for.

The dog is pacing the floor and whining. She's been outside and had her dinner, so she must be missing the embedded scent of 90,000 piddles in the new carpet.

Hmm, I just remembered that FFXII came out today and I have a preordered collector's edition waiting for me at the local mall. It'd best not suck.

Happy Halloween :)

I can't believe how fast the weekends go.

I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a 64 Impala

I have to get back to studying genetics. Let me just say now, off the record, that I was a complete and total idiot thinking that it would be fun to take a 300 level class as one of my (many) electives this semester. My midterm is Friday and I need to pass it. Need as in "hi, if you fuck this up you're going to fail and I recommend you withdraw as your best course of action."

Sigh.

At least the whole thing is online, which is much easier than the traditional pen-and-paper method. Finally something good came out of spending over $100 on a paperback textbook. Do you have any idea how goddamn expensive textbooks are? Every time I think about it my wallet screams in terror and runs out of the room.

See, there it went.

Oh yeah, I have to write a five page research paper on the textbook psychological disorders exhibited in Poe's "The Raven" by tomorrow night.

And memorize the general rights listed in the fourth, fifth, sixth, eighth and fourteenth amendments.

Kill me.

No, fucking kill me. Which idiot brain cell suggested it would be good for me to go back to school? I'm going to beat it to death with a mallard. I was originally going to say mallet, but mallard brings to mind a much better mental image.

Holy shit, am I broke.

Those of you that are gamers will understand the above statement. I can't remember the last time so many games I was interested in got released within three weeks of each other, and I just went and preordered as many as I could without having to sell the dog and go live in a cardboard box. The list is as follows:

World of Warcraft Burning Crusade expansion Collector's Edition
Final Fantasy XII Collector's Edition
Neverwinter Nights 2
Guitar Hero 2

Now that may not seem like a lot, but I'm not even counting other things I have an interest in that are coming out (*coughNintendoWiicough*) or a couple other games like the new Castlevania for the DS and God of War II. It is a good month to be a gamer as far as excellent titles that will suck up every ounce of my free time, but a very bad month as far as, oh, paying for power and heat. Or Christmas presents. I think this year I'm just going to give everyone a card that says, "Surprise! You bought me a game this year in lieu of you getting a gift. I'd give you this card in person but I'm too busy playing it. Thanks ^_^"

I hate that stupid emote. ^_^ Drives me batshit insane. That and this one o.O which I call the "there's something touching my butt" face.

I am now the proud owner of a Swiffer Sweep&M­op® and I will be sweeping and mopping the living bejesus out of my kitchen floor once I get home from choir rehearsal tonight. Yes, this is what my life has degenerated into: games and swiffering.

"Maw! She's swiffering in between Final Fantasy cutscenes again!"
"Have your Paw take her out back and shoot her, Billy. She's too far gone."

In other news, why is Halloween candy on sale now? It needs to not be on sale until after Halloween, because then I don't have to buy four bags of it because it's $1.50 each and I want candy goddamn it put the fucking Kit Kats in the cart and shut up, just shut up because if you say a word I'll stuff them up your nose.

To all of you that welcomed me back, thank you very, very much. It amazed me that so many of you noticed, let alone took the time to say hi. I'm sure you'll be sick of me in no time, don't you worry about it.

Time to go do... something. The dog is licking the couch. Maybe I should stop her from doing that. Yes. I think that's what I'll go do.

Been a while.

I missed my userpics, so I got a Plus account. As long as you just read me on your flist, you won't have to deal with the electronics advertisements I've selected. If you do, apologies in advance.

It's been a very long time since I've even attempted to update this thing regularly, so I'm sure I'm rusty in the writing department. Several of you are getting involved in NaNoWriMo and I wish you all the best. I'm sure I've been sitting on a bestseller for about 10 years, but damned if I'll ever get it out of me and on paper. Ha. Ha, I say.

I'm back in school. Full time this semester, and when (if?) I manage to pass all five classes I'll have an AS in "General Studies." Yes, that does mean what you think it means: I couldn't settle down to pick a regular major so I just took a ton of classes and took enough of them to print out a sheet of paper that says I took enough of them to get a sheet of paper.

It's been some seriously crappy weather here recently, so I've allotted today to do a little fall housecleaning/decorating. The front of the condo looks great with wreath, mums et al; but the inside looks like a bomb full of shopping bags and unread mail exploded within two feet of the front door.

Still working at the church. Still not getting paid enough.

Bunch more stuff has happened, but I guess if I put everything into one post now there'll be nothing for me to write later and I'll wind up letting this thing gather dust for another two years.

Hi. I'm maestrojlr, and I'm back.

it's my birthday.

:)